Exercise 1 Part 1

4-6 photographs which are deliberately darker than average and say why in your notes.

1. I took this a couple of weeks ago (not with this exercise in mind) but I really like it - but maybe that is because my kids are in it!  I've already posted it on this blog in a reflection  post so I hope it's ok to post it here too.  I deliberately under exposed the shadows to make the most of the light coming in on the older son's body.  I like the mood with the dark shadows.  I think I was certainly influenced by this image by Stewart Weir who was my tutor when I did an online course with the Photography Institute last year and who is doing a little bit of mentoring with me now to get my site looking better etc. I think Stewart's image is incredibly poignant and touching and the exposure contributes to that sense.

2. I love working in moody dark days where the sun only peaks through now and again and when there is a lot of cloud about.  The cloud acts as a brilliant giant diffuser and this day was like that.  I enjoy exposing to make the most of the clouds when there is light and shadow in them too.  I liked the reflections on the surface of the water and knew I'd be converting the images I took.  I published another one on Flickr but preferred this one as it's sharper and the dark areas cleaner.  

3. It was a very windy day and as I was driving to the park I kept seeing these amazing swirls of leaves which I wanted to photograph but when I got there this little patch was all that came my way. Anyway, I took two photographs and this was the better of them.  The trees in the back are very underexposed so that they become just darkness which contrasts with the tiny highlighted specks of leaves flying about.  I like the contrast and made more of it in Lightroom.  It's a deliberately dark image - like in Snow White in the forest when she's running away from something frightening - she doesn't know what though.

 4. I often walk along here and it's such a weird place.  It's next to the municipal dump and I wish I could go in to get a better frame but it's blocked and no-one is allowed in.  I knew I wanted to do a high key image of this place.  It's so bleak and desolate right next to a bunch of very expensive development.  I remember about a year and a half ago following a tutorial with Amateur Photographer and Martin Evening which showed you how to process a high key image and I think I pretty much followed that here - if I remember correctly.  His image was of a petrol station taken with a wide angle lens from a low position.  Maybe I should have thought more about my position here but I was very limited and had to take the lens hood off and stick my camera through some gates!

I will try to get another high key image or two to add here.  I tend to underexpose and take dark photos I think for myself although not when I'm doing portraits mostly.

Assingment 3 Colour

Images

Commentary

Notes and colour maps
Reflection

Assignment 3 commentary

For assignment 3 we were asked to produce 'about 4 photographs' for each of the following:

Colour harmony through complimentary colours

Colour harmony through similar colours

Colour contrast through contrasting colours

Colour accent using any of the above

In addition to the four objectives listed above we were also instructed to 'vary the subject matter, including both arrangements and found situations'.

"We know the original relation of the theatre and the cult of the Dead:  the first actors separated themselves from the community by playing the role of the Dead: to make oneself up was to designate oneself as a body simutaneously living and dead: the whitened bust of the totemic theatre, the man with the painted face in the Chinese theatre, the rice-paste makeup of the Indian Kathakali, the Japanese No mask... now it is the same relation which I find in the Photograph; however "lifelike" we strive to make it (and this frenzy to be lifelike can only be mythic denial of an apprehension of death), Photography is a kind of primitive theatre, a kind of Tableau Vivant, a figuration of the motionless and made up face beneath which we see the dead."

Roland Barthes, Camera Lucida (1)

Images - please view slideshow on a full screen.  Exif data can be found behind the 'i' under each image after you exit the slide show
Colour maps and specific image notes
Rejected images and early ideas

Working with Colour - Colour has been difficult to get my head round.  However, having spent quite a lot of time doing and redoing shots for this assignment I am now pretty clear about the primary and secondary colours and which ones contrast with which, etc. I am also very aware of how the texture and quality of different cloth works under different light, how some objects and materials change colour entirely depending on light, aperture and speed; and of how some coloured items are more inclined to loose all their structure under certain conditions and just become a blob of colour with little definition.

When I first started to think about "Colour" I wasn't thinking about all the technical aspects but was instead reminded of powerful memories from my childhood, which I discussed in an earlier post.  At that time, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but I knew colour triggered strong sense memories in the same way smell or sound might.

I also recalled productions I have seen by Robert Wilson and Robert Lepage where colour and other simple theatrical techniques were used in an evocative way to transport their audience into a different realm; one that seems to go beyond the conscious world and explores inner landscapes.

In part the work may also be a response to images of women I have seen specifically in the last few months and which I have discussed in my blog.

To sum up, I think these images explore what it is to be female in our society, about some of the confusion and difficulties that surround us.  I am also very aware, however, they evoke aspects of how my own life has felt over the last several years and perhaps where I am now.   I have taken Barthes’ quote in a very literal way and played with notions of death whilst trying to instil a sense of life, using motion blur and contrasting it with the "motionless" nature of a photograph.
I hope I have conveyed something evocative using colour, and which goes beyond the parameters of producing a number of coloured images which fit neatly under the headings of contrasting, harmonious, similar and accent.

I should say I was (am) quite conflicted about the images I have used and worried about the criteria which states we should vary the subject matter.  I know I haven't done this but instead opted to create a set of images that hold together.  I do believe I have 'found' lots in the images but rather than wandering around to find them I have found them in the confines of my little makeshift studio/bedroom.  (Too much liberty with language?) For many reasons I am somewhat worried about posting these images, I have to say.  I know they won't be everyone's cup of tea!  And I am worried again that I've gone completely off in the wrong direction.

(1) Camera Lucida by Roland Barthes, published by Vantage Books 200, Originally published in French as La Chambre Claire by Editions du Seuil 1980, first published by Vantage in 1993

My problem with Colour...

... Is that I prefer black & white!  I think I do.  I love how it shapes shapes and lighting changes and removes the image from reality further.  The book I wrote about earlier this evening on Lillian Bassman and Paul Himmel is filled with the most extraordinary black and white images. And I can't wait to move onto a section where I can start to try and figure out how to do some of the things I've seen there.  So, perhaps it's been good for me to look at colour like this as it's forcing me to open up how I work.

I've really struggled to find a way to do what is required for this assignment.  I am not sure what I've planned is right - I know there is no 'right' but I keep worrying I'm really missing something.  I think the only way to do it is with four sets of photos as we are asked to use different lighting, subjects, still life and found images, colour that is about light and colour that is about object based.  But the other work I have seen has very similar photographs which is why I'm a bit worried.

I have tried to stick to the original thoughts I had where childhood is the main theme.  I'm not sure I'm going to achieve the objectives but since the assignment is due in fairly soon I think I've got to go with what I've got planned.  I've a busy few days ahead.

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I've been feeling really strange about photography lately.  Recently I was just so cross about some dumb mistakes I had made at a shoot with a family.  And I'd been feeling disappointed with much of the work I'd been doing for a while, so that by last weekend I was really questioning whether or not I was cut out for that sort of work, but if not that then what?  And I knew that just giving up and walking away from one type of photography was not the answer anyway.  I actually know much of what was informing this mood was totally non-photography related but it was affecting my work nevertheless. 

Mistakes, however, are really important sometimes because they can act as a powerful stimulant to getting things right next time.  For various reasons I feel less despondent now having resolved that I actually just needed to take a bit more control over what I was doing.  And some clutter seems to have shifted from my mind.

Colour has been quite important to be honest as I have realised how much of a difference it will make to the images I take when working with families.  So I've started being a lot more proactive with clients about what they wear and giving them clear instructions before I turn up about choosing a simple colour palette and mixing patterns with block colours.   So although some of my lighting has been a bit ropey I can without a doubt see that when client's follow those instructions it has contributed to a more cohesive image and set of images.  I just hadn't thought about this before embarking on this section of the course. So that's good!

Roland Barthes Camera Lucida

There is no doubt in my mind that I will need to read this book again, if I am even to begin to get to grips with it.  It’s no secret, I’m sure, this is an incredibly difficult book to take in and I certainly found it so.  However, I read it relatively slowly and tried to absorb each of the chapters as much as I could before moving on. 

I think that although the book is challenging, Roland Barthes does give the reader a bit of a roadmap during the first quarter of the book, detailing what he is aiming to explore – what exactly is a photograph and why are some photographs important either culturally at large or to individuals. This roadmap comes in the shape of specific language, which he uses to describe himself as accurately as possible.  As you work your way through the beginning of the book his discourse is difficult to penetrate but once you've absorbed the meaning of the following terms you are helped somewhat.

Studium – studied cultural details and elements in a photograph.  That which we recognize and rationalise .

Punctum – a word that describes the impact of a photographed scene that “shoots out of it like an arrow” or a “sting, speck, cut, little hole”. [1] This second word describes how a photograph works at a deeper level than the culture we see and which we recognize.  “Punctum… is that accident which pricks me (but also bruises me, is poignant to me)”[2]

He also describes the various contributors to the making of a photograph – the Operator (camera person), Spectator (viewer of the photograph) and then the Spectrum which is the subject, be it person, object, place or mood/atmosphere. 

It is at this point that Barthes introduces the subject of death and how everything that photographed is essentially dead once it’s been captured: “this word (spectacle) retains through it’s root, a ‘relation’ to spectacle and adds to it that rather terrible thing which is there in every photograph: the return of the dead.”[3]

Being that this book is about facing death, the death of his mother and subsequently the notion of his own death, Barthes returns to this theme throughout the book. And I will too later in this blog.

I understand that in my above adumbrated version of Barthes’ work I have attempted to condense some very complex ideas, and that I probably really only have a fairly superficial understanding at this point but I hope I’m heading in the right direction.

There are several pivotal points for me in the book.  In particular when discussing the methods by which the Operator (photographers) create their work which aim to surprise the Spectator he lists various methods for doing so.  One of these methods is when photographers use “contortions of technique: superimpressions, anamorphoses[4], deliberate exploitation, of certain defects (blurring, deceptive perspectives, trick framing).”[5] 

I mention this as I am interested in blurring and motion.  The punctum which Barthes speaks of is often more readily accessible to me in some of this type of photography, however, he is fairly dismissive of it even though he concedes that there are some very accomplished photographers using these contortions. “…great photographers have played on these surprises, without convincing me, even if I understand their subversive bearing”. [6]  I have felt quite conflicted since reading this and agree with him one moment, believing I should focus on getting ‘real photography’ right rather than being distracted by my desire to blur with long shutter speeds on my camera or fiddle for hours with my iphone (using the Snapseed app for instance to distort and paint and create little scenes that remind me of something very dreamlike and sort of internally ancient and linked more to our unconscious inner worlds) and then swing the other way, wondering if I should just allow myself to really enjoy that side of photography – since I do so enjoy it.  I’m sure there is time for both if I think rationally about it but I have an inner nasty parent saying – ‘Stop that, silly stuff!’ 

(This conflict has led to me wonder if there is Photography Art as opposed to Art where photography is the medium.  I shall have to explain this in more detail elsewhere I think as this entry is really about Barthes’ book.)

Earlier I mentioned that Barthes discusses the relationship between death and photography throughout this book which is hardly surprising as he was prompted to write it when grieving for his late mother whom he had lived with all his life.  He felt her loss deeply and as one does when a loved one dies looked for some connection in photographs.  He found something of what he was looking for in a photograph of his mother as a child where he believes he saw her essence even though she was very young and not the adult he had always known. 

During the last section of the book Barthes describes powerfully how we react to photographs, and how we relate to the truth in every photograph, which is the ‘catastrophe’ of inevitable death.  “…the photograph tells me death in the future.  What pricks me is the discovery of this equivalence.  In front of the photograph of my mother as a child, I tell myself: she is going to die: I shudder, like Winnicots psychotic patient, over a catastrophe which has already occurred.  Whether or not the subject is already dead, every photograph is this catastrophe.”[7]

I clearly remember my horrific realisation when my first son was about a year old that he would, if he is lucky enough to have a full life, grow old and one day die.  And that it is very unlikely that I should be there with him, if all goes well with his life that is, so that he would be without me at that time.  It was a heartbreaking realization, and one we humans could not or should not dwell on as we go about our day to day.  I think Barthes is discussing how photographs have the potential and ability to punch this realization into our consciousness when we look at them in happy times.  And, of course, when we look at them in times of grief can bellow that reality back at us.  Death is unavoidable.

“It is because each photograph always contains this imperious sign of my future death each one, however attached it seems to be to the excited world of the living, challenges us, one by one outside of any generality.”[8]

Barthes often refers to the photograph as a performance.  In fact he likens photography to theatre; “Photography is a kind of primitive theatre, a kind of Tableaux Vivant, a figuration of the motionless and made up face beneath which we see the dead”[9], and this is a very encouraging for me.  I would like to think I can and should use photography to create my own little theatrical moments.   I am torn between photographing others and photographing myself as an ‘actor’ in a still tiny moment that is nevertheless a drama of sorts.  I must look at Cindy Sherman’s work more as she is the most obvious example I can think of in relation to this sort of work, although am also reminded of Jessa Fairbrother, whose work was recommended to me by my tutor.

Roland Barthes’ book was not an easy read but it was intensely interesting and valuable.  I am left once again with a sense of deep frustration that I haven’t read Sartre or Nietzsche, or a host of others not even mentioned in the Barthes book.  It is so annoying to be so ignorant.  I can put all these people on my very long list of books to read but who knows when I will get to them.  However, it does make me wonder if I would enjoy Understanding Visual Cultureperhaps later on if I continue with these studies, as I have been following someone’s blog who is doing that module.  It looks very interesting indeed!

All references aprt from no. 4 to Camera Lucida by Roland Barthes, Vintage Books, Translated by Richard Howard, Published by Vintage 2000, Copyright Editions du Seuil 1980, Translation Copyright Farrarm Straus and Girouux 1981

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[1] Page 26

[2] Page 27

[3] Page 9

[4] a distorted projection or drawing which appears normal when viewed from a particular point or with a suitable mirror or lens: Google dictionary

[5] Page 33

[6] Page 33

[7] Page 96

[8] Page 97

[9] Page 32

Some thoughts for the colour assignment - FRAGMENTS

I have been wondering how to approach the next assignment - Colour.  As well as that I have picked up one of the recommended books in a bid to 'put right' my slight lack of commitment to reading, or rather the failure to make time to do it.  And thanks to Jayne Kemp, a fellow student on TAOP, I been looking at Alexey Brodovitch's Ballet, a figure who in turn led me to Lillian Bassman & Paul Himmel, who's work I am utterly bowled over by.

In addition I downloaded a biography about Diane Arbus and couldn't help but take a peek and became engrossed (the whys for another blog post), even though I have these other two books on the go (plus a rather difficult and upsetting book about high conflict divorce and the effect it has on children, which I think I have put to one side in favour of the photography books for now - perhaps I have enough of an idea of that for the time being and it's actually preventing me from moving on with this work).

So all these different influences are swirling round in my mind at the moment which will probably go on to inform whatever I end up doing for Colour.

And while I was coming home from a family event today I remembered the sets by Robert Wilson and Robert Lepage both of whose work I was very taken with years ago when studying acting and then working, and obviously taking an interest in theatre - the thing that sprung to mind was the bold colours (and shapes) sometimes used in their set design and overall work.

I am thinking about colour and how powerful it is in creating a sense memory or deeply visceral sensation/ response.  Red, white, blue pictures theses directors create with actors, lighting and set design.

And I think I was reminded of them after seeing the work by Jessa Fairbrother, recommended by my tutor.  When I went to see something by Robert Wilson shortly after my first son was born (can't believe I left such a young baby, one who refused a bottle, for several hours - I never did it again with him or any of the others at that age!!) there was a female character whose movement was stuccato and unpredicatable: there was a very clear lack of fluidity and it reminded me of my baby son's early movements - the brain and muscles were not yet working together and so an arm or a leg would flail about randomly and unexpectedly.  So, Jessa Fairbrother's work, The Rehearsal (dedicated to Augustine) is a series of photos presented in a sequence and almost like a stop frame film but with very big jumps between each image rather than the tiny ones you'd normally expect.  This is what bought the character's movement described above to mind I think.  Fragmented movements.

The word that has been floating round my head for days is FRAGMENTED.

Like many people I suspect, my own childhood memories are rather fragmented.  I have images in my head - a room that feels very orange with soft afternoon light and curtains and a window, or crying whilst wearing a blue long sleeved t-shirt - a memory that is cemented by a photograph of me crying in that very shirt, or the red blood on a black skinned man being beaten and pushed into a van in Cape-Town by a policeman.  These are just a few examples of memories from my very early childhood that contain colours in the imagery as well as the words representing colour in the narrative I have in my mind.

The memories are powerful but I can't tell you very much beyond the little scenes that exists in my head, such as what happened before or afterwards.

The reason I think I mentioned the book above that I have put aside for now is that it goes into much detail about how the development of children who are exposed to warring parents or any form of traumatic experience can and often does lead to fragmentation.  The adults who seemingly can't help themselves from putting their children through this experience are often fragmented individuals who have failed to individuate fully and reacting in the present to traumatic events from their own childhoods.  Events that may have caused some fragmentation which is either never fully resolved or deepens under the pressure of a marriage breakdown.

Fragments of self, fragments of memory, fragments of truth, fragmented movements, fragmented communication, fragmented others

I really want to explore some of the memories, memories that contain colour, memories that are fragments from the past that stay with me always, that I describe with words that represent colour - colours that evoke some sensation, and sometimes quite powerful ones.

I understand that colour can be very evocative either because of the sensation it might trigger or because of cultural symbolism - so for instance blue has classically been seen (due in part to the expense of Lapus Lazuli I think) as powerful, regal, godlike.  And I want to try and find ways to explore using colour to communicate something connected to powerful but fragmented childhood memories that have the potential to transport a viewer (audience?)

Am I being too ambitious now - probably??  The feedback I received was that my last assignment had been ambitious even though I didn't necessarily pull it off in every instance - which I agreed with wholeheartedly. However, I am excited by this ambition - now the desire to express something feels not only possible but desirable having just sat, not entirely inanimately as I certainly absorbed a great deal but probably in quite a blocked way, for so long.

I don't know whether to follow in the style of slow shutter speed or not but looking at Lillian Bassman's work gives me tremendous encouragement and inspiration to do so.  I don't want to simply repeat myself without moving forward but fear I may do so.  I have fragments of ideas but to be honest am not really sure at all about what the final product will be - I like that though.  I'm not sure I like the idea of pinning something down to such an extent that there is no room for surprise and invention.  I struggled to learn this concept at drama school - always starting with an effective but ultimately doomed idea in my head that was too stifled to grow and exhilarate which was a shame for me then,  because had I been able to trust myself and let go I might have enjoyed it all a bit more.
So that's where I am at the moment.

I think the thing to do is get the exercises done over the next two weeks or so if I can before I take the boys camping.  Then get all my colours together for the assignment - whatever those colours will be, cloth, make up, props or rooms - perhaps some coloured gels unless I just use Lightroom for that.  I certainly need to sit down with the colour wheel, the assignment requirements and some coloured pencils and do some experimenting, drawing perhaps, colouring in.  I remember reading that Lepage in a rehearsal will start by getting everyone to draw and write things down on a giant piece of paper - an exercise that potentially unlocks ideas and memories and invention from which the company will then draw upon to begin devising.  I might try to do something similar on a smaller scale for this using the colour wheel and pencils - we'll see.

I am aware that much of this reflective post might seem unconnected and perhaps a peculiar swirl of disparate ideas and references but I think it has been helpful to put my thoughts down, and it will hopefully lead to something more tangible with which to work.

Assignment 2 Feedback

I was a little nervous about receiving feedback from my tutor after submitting the assignment.  So much so actually, that I somehow managed to forget to tell him the assignment was ready for feedback on my blog.  Anyway, we got there in the end and he kindly came back relatively fast especially considering his own limited time, for which I was grateful.

I have tried to upload the whole document here as a PDF but that is tricky in Blogger and I can't work out how to do it.  Will keep trying (and perhaps do the same for Assignment 1) but in the meantime here are some extracts: although having completed this, I like how I can put in my thoughts so maybe this is for the best anyway:

Feedback - assignment 

"Overall, this is bold, thoughtful, ambitious, striking, expressive and fascinating work; more so when viewed in the context of it being only your second assignment of your first module with the OCA. At this point, while students are often still making the adjustment from shooting purely for themselves/ pleasure, it’s unsurprising that many people take a fairly cautious approach to their assignments, producing work that’s less about being bold and taking chances than playing it safe. That you’ve clearly thought about how you can take the assignment criteria and do something that’s ambitious, creative and rather lyrical with it is extremely encouraging. This is an enormously intriguing assignment, from the text that outlines your thoughts and ideas processes, to your final execution of the photography. It doesn’t always come together, but at this point that’s less important than taking chances and having the imagination to even attempt to produce work like this in the first place."

I was very pleased to read the above and felt that the risk I had taken was recognised.  I agreed that in some instances I didn't quite reach what I was hoping for, mainly due to my lack of perseverance and worry about time - which in retrospect was silly.  In future I will endeavour to be sure of all the images I include and not allow a couple to slip under that don't quite do it for me.  I am glad to find out that I can replace the two images I wasn't happy with before being assessed and plan to do so.

Learning Logs/Critical Essays

"The way you’re thinking and writing about your experiences is really engaging and enormously promising. The overview you give of the assignment was extremely readable, and a great accompaniment to the images- there’s a seriousness and determination that is apparent throughout, and everything is always thoughtful, eloquent and extremely readable. More please…

On a techy note, I very much appreciated how you presented the photographs in a full-screen slideshow; it really presented them in a lovely light. In the long run, an awareness of how people view your photographs is something that is incredibly important."

I love writing and have lots to say so I am very encouraged by this.  I have also been noticing how people present their work and am interested in learning new ways to do so myself.

Suggested reading/viewing

"‘I have not read enough’- very honest! It’s hugely encouraging, gratifying and exciting to see someone who’s so committed and willing to take chances and not feel the need to tread well worn paths. Harnessing this adventurous spirit by getting a more pointed sense of what’s out there is certainly something that will give an added sense of purpose to your work- but having said this, your accompanying notes very clearly give a sense of someone who is taking note of what’s out there, and absorbing all manner of things. You’re clearly keen to explore and try new things, and I get the impression that you know anyway that ‘consuming’ more photography and writing about photography will feed your own ideas processes. So keep going…

More specifically, your work in this assignment immediately called to mine a series by Jessa Fairbrother, whose series The Rehearsal (dedicated to Augustine) attracted a fair bit of attention. There’s a similar stylistic approach in terms of the way the work is set up, but also quite a few differences that go beyond one project being in colour and the other in b/w. Yours appears to be rather more concerned with, dare I say, existential matters than Jessa’s… but also keep in mind that work like this that doesn’t loudly flag up what it’s intended to be ‘about’ lends itself to a much more diverse and ‘open’ set of readings by the viewer. This is a moot point in all forms of creativity, not just photography, and scholars in the field of Cultural Studies have been interested in the way audiences have a ‘creative role’ in the production of meaning and interpreting art and culture for quite a long time. Stuart Hall and Roland Barthes are a couple of key figures if you fancy some not-so-light reading around this! Jessa’s other work is also well worth a look."

I do of course aim to read more and I am certainly looking at photographic work a lot as well as other mediums.  My problem with reading the prescribed books is that I am too easily drawn to psychology and social anthropology books which does inform the work I do, but I am aware I need to make sure I don't miss out on important photography commentary too.  I have nearly finished one of the books which was recommended so I don't feel too bad now but this is something I must keep an eye on.  Saying that the writers that have been recommended of course appeal to me (and my slight sense of grandiosity?) because they are looking at all creative arts and theatre has been an interest of mine since I was very young.  I am extremely interested in work that isn't prescriptive.

I have looked at Jessa Fairbrother and was thrilled by her work.  I am inspired and I look forward to seeing more.  I was also grateful to a fellow student who recommend Alexey Brodovitch after seeing my assignment work.  The peer review Facebook group that has been set up has been great for getting to know some of the other people studying, even if only online. 

Pointers for the next assignment 

We’ve already touched on this in email correspondence, so all I want to add is that you should just keep going: the work you’ve submitted so far, as well as what you’ve uploaded to your blog, gives an extremely clear sense of someone who is pushing, searching, and hopefully finding what it is they are looking for. There’s quite a wide array of styles, which rather than suggesting uncertainty and inconsistency, points to someone determined to find an appropriate vehicle to work with… even if this doesn’t necessarily settle into a permanent and easily identifiable visual ‘style’. The notes that you include, highlighting ‘keening, death, love, sex, innocence, isolation and aging’ were very welcome, and indicative of someone who’s very ambitious and wants to use photography to communicate some things that are not easily communicated. What’s also encouraging is that I had quite a big sense of these themes being part of the work before I read your notes, so things are definitely moving in the right direction, and I’m pretty confident that if you can maintain your enthusiasm and obvious work ethic- and put right your sense that you’ve ‘not read enough’!- you’ll continue to get closer to wherever it is you want your work and your studies to take you. Please feel free to drop me an email if you want to discuss your plans for A3.

I have been thinking about A3 quite a lot now and was a bit unsure about how to proceed.  Having looked at Jessa Fairbrother's work though I am beginning to relax a little about it.  I've been uncertain about continuing to use myself in the the work I do here.  However, I was once an actor and the idea of using photography to create my own little productions is quite appealing.  I never felt I was able to express what I wanted to when acting - in large part I'm sure because I was quite messed up and unsure about who I was at the time rather than because of any failing in the people I was working with, or the scripts I was working on, or acting not being the right medium.  But now I have an increasingly clear idea of what it is that is I am eager to express and I think having the tools to do it, i.e a camera might be liberating in the end.  So, for now I am not going to worry too much about being my own little producer-megalomaniac - although not much of a one since I'm potentially only bossing myself around.

As far as an easily identifiable style goes, I do feel slightly ambivalent about closing down and honing in just yet. (One of the things I took away with me from the Richard Hamilton show was how versatile and wide ranging his work was and I liked that a lot).  However, I do also appreciate that finding one's own language is an extremely worthwhile aim.

 

 

 

Presumed Innocence - Reflection

(Having written this blog I realise it is more a reflection about the book and how it relates to my work rather than some sort of review.  I guess I have yet to write that up now and will file this blog under reflection rather than Photographers and their Work, although should probably provide a link once I've completed the blog about the actual work in the book.)

I recently bought a book called Presumed Innocence, which accompanied an exhibition of the same name, curated by Rachel Rosenfield Lafo at the Decordoca Museum and Sculpture Park, Lincoln, Massachusetts, from February 2 to April 27, 2008. 

If I were interested in coincidences and synchronicity it would be hard to avoid attaching some importance to the fact that these dates are so familiar.  My oldest son’s birthday is the 27^th April and my middle son was born in February 2008 although on the 1^st and not the 2^nd.  Oh, yes! I am fascinated by such co-incidences: I do, however, take comfort, as it would just be too weird, and simultaneously feel slight disappointment that the birthdate of my second son misses out on a perfect match with the exhibition dates by 24 hours.

I ordered this book because my tutor suggested it to me.  It is the most I’ve ever spent on a single book but thanks to a site called Bookfinder.com I think and hope I located a decently priced copy.  Due to the combination of intense enthusiasm that I feel towards my photography, together with a long held fascination and deep sense of yearning to know and learn about childhood, I felt that the relative expense was warranted.  So when the book arrived (it took a long time) I was immensely pleased to read one of the opening passages written by Anne Higonnet, titled, ‘the history, crisis, and recovery of ideal childhood.’

The passage is an adapted version of the introduction to Higonnet’s book, Pictures of Innocence: The History and Crisis of Ideal Childhood, and I feel compelled to buy that book too now.  It would without a doubt fit well into my growing collection of books about children, childhood and its place in our society and other cultures, and about our understanding of childhood and how it has evolved and is evolving over time.  Books titled “What are Children For?”, Our Babies Ourselves, Children’s Games in Streets and Playgrounds and The Invention of Childhood along with Mothers and Others, Paranoid Parenting and simply The Anthropology of Child Development all sit proudly amongst other similar titles on my shelves so Presumed Innocence is a welcome addition.  I hope I am not merely demonstrating here that I can indeed read but am instead finding a connection that I hadn’t really made with photography, not consciously anyway, before picking up Presumed Innocence.

Very soon after I gave birth to my first son I was struck by a profound sense of purpose suddenly and for the first time in my life.  This is not unusual as many mothers and probably fathers, although by no means all, feel equally ‘justified’ when they become parents.  What is unusual about me is that my own mother moved away from us when I was 11 and for the first time when I became a mother myself, I started perhaps only semi-consciously at first to question why and how that might have happened.  Although other people often said it was unusual, for me it had been the norm but once I had my own child I began to see beyond the experience I had had up to then.

That I suppose is what has informed my reading and deep desire to understand children, maternal instincts and parenting styles or lack of in the world.  From there I have wanted to know why we treat children the way we do, very differently in some customs across cultures and but also with a universality in other ways, even across different species’.  I have also become very interested in how children develop and the travails they must travel through to reach adulthood intact or not as the case may be.

Young mammalian children are adapted to be cute and endearing in order to ensure they survive, so the theory goes, so ideally babies and young children are less likely to be abandoned by carers [1]. In addition throughout history children have been crucial to the survival of families as they worked from a young age and contributed to the economy of families and communities in which they lived [2].  According to Anne Higonnet in her introduction to Presumed Innocence and also Hugh Cunningham in The Invention of Childhood [3] something about they way we in the West perceive children changed somewhere around the 17^th century and a Romantic ideal about how children ought to be evolved[4].  At the same time children were being devalued, so that by the Victorian era were being sent down coalmines and up chimneys or thrown in poor houses whilst simultaneously a perfect notion of the ideal childhood reached its zenith, although it is probable in reality a mere handful of only the most fortunate benefitted from anything that resembled the nostalgic, sun kissed, curly haired, fair skinned, country dwelling image that persists today.  Now we are left, and crucially children are left without a clear sense of purpose [5].  Often the cuteness and attractiveness of children fails to protect them from violent and distressing treatment in a deeply anti-adaptive way.  Sometimes the theory fails and children are not cute or adorable enough or at all but instead seen as demons or simply surplus to requirements.  I wonder what emerges if you begin to look at images of children within this context.

The introductory passages in Presumed Innocence point out that the romantic ideal is beginning to change, at any rate within the world of art, and Sally Mann in particular is mentioned as one of the first to challenge and question the historical ideal with her work in Immediate Family [6] 

However, the amount of soft focused, golden photographs of young children looking innocent and precious in a field of flowers for example, perhaps with a nostalgic filter and a fake sunburst edited in during post processing being sold is pretty high and there is much demand for this sort of style of photography.  If not, then babies wrapped in fluff, coiled up in baskets or dangling in a tiny hammock and photographed in the style of high-end advertising may do.

As someone who has begun to earn a bit of money taking photographs of children and families I am acutely aware of the styles and trends that I must compete with and to be honest am always faintly surprised when people are complimentary about my own work as I don’t use filters and actions (other than skin smoothing and then only mostly with adult women who are concerned about their lines), am learning all the time so feel I make many mistakes, try hard to achieve something vaguely authentic and real and can’t possibly achieve the sun kissed, modern Mcdonalds advertising look because I don’t know how, don’t want to and don’t see children in that vein anyway.  I also wonder why we Western humans need to market our children in this way to ourselves in any case – what is happening to the adaptive behavior we evolved with to ensure the survival of our offspring?  When and why we did begin marketing our kids to ourselves and is this linked to the romantic ideal that emerged in the 17th century?

When I first started getting into the idea of commercial photography I was adamant I wouldn’t try to enter the family portrait market as it seemed saturated and I didn’t think it was my thing at all.  Nevertheless, I tried it out because I had nothing better to do and the actors I’d started with weren’t exactly banging my door down, and now it seems that families is the way my work is going and I can’t help noticing the connection between my reading interests and my unintended study of children through photography.  I guess I would be vaguely lacking in awareness if I did not begin to see how I have, with little conscious effort, found myself trying to capture images of childhood, parenting, and families other than mine in some sort of attempt to make sense of my own beginnings.

So all in all, I think this book of images of children is very important for me in one way or another.  It offers me a variety of styles to try and emulate, challenges the status quo, provides me with a history and context in which children have been photographed and is probably a book that I should and will look at again and again and again.  The dates of the exhibition, even if one were not intrigued by coincidences, are striking but not nearly as startling, engaging and compelling as the photographs (about which I have not written here at all! But will do, or have done depending on when you're reading this!).

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[1] Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and the Shaping of the Species, Sarah Hrdy Blaffer, 2000 Vintage, Random House (First published 1999)

[2] What are Children For? Laurie Taylor & Matthew Taylor, Short Books, 2003

[3] The Invention of Childhood, Hugh Cunningham (& Michael Morpugo), BBC Books, 2006

[4] Presumed Innocence, Photographic Perspectives of Children, page 15, Decordoca Museum and Sculpture Park, 2008

[5] What are Children For? Laurie Taylor & Matthew Taylor, Short Books, 2003

[6] Immediate Family, Sally Mann, Apeture, 1992

Control the strength of colour

Blogger insisted on adjusting the exposures when I uploaded these pictures and so each photograph looked exactly the same for some reason.  Blogger has done this before but rectified itself when I re-uploaded the images but this time it stuck to its incorrect guns.  I have therefore provided a link to my site where the colours and exposures will be preserved as they are for certain.

Take 5 photographs: Find the average meter reading and then start at one stop brighter than the original then stop down by half each time.  Apart from the fact that the five photographs vary from over-exposure to under exposure what difference is there in terms of the colour?

As well as the different exposures what I have noticed is the tone of the colour.  The overexposed photograph looks much pinker, almost peach, and the darkest one loses its luminosity.  I prefer the darker two at the beginning of the sequence as they seem much richer and the red is more robust.

Once thing that puzzled me with this exercise (and perhaps I'm going to look like a twit here) but my camera, like most, goes up incrementally in thirds rather than halves (I'm pretty sure).  I could not for the life of me find a way to change it in the camera to halves although I know you can in the light meter I own and carry around and rarely use. Also, when I looked in the course folder at the example given they were thirds with two missing from the sequence - f.5 and f7.1.  So I was a bit confused by this.  I have re-looked at f stop values online and wonder if I'm missing something. 

Please click here to see five exposures of the same coloured subject 
Please click on the small i underneath each image for settings information

At last beginning to get on with some reading...

I took photos at a wedding for the first time recently.  Perhaps because I've never done it before, perhaps because of my personality, I felt like an intruder and a bit of a peeping Tom.  Not sure this shot will mean much to the family & couple but it said something to me about my own place at the wedding and possibly in the world.

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I felt it was probably time to write up some reflection a I’ve not been doing so with quite the same frequency as I did to begin with.  As I mentioned in the assignment reflection for Elements of Design, this isn’t because I haven’t been thinking.  In fact, perhaps it’s because I’ve been thinking more, droning on less.

I think what the last few months of work with OCA has done for me is broaden my horizons of what is possible quite considerably – and for that I am very pleased.

I know I need to read more.  Fitting it in is not easy but I’m getting on quite well with (1) the photograph as contemporary art by Charlotte Cotton. There is quite a lot in there that I have come across already which is encouraging although of course much more that I haven’t.  All of it is compelling to a greater or a lesser extent.

I think what I’m most interested in on this course for now is trying to reach something that is less about the commercial side although that is important to me (and something I must continue to learn about; marketing, sales, the actual photography) as I need very much to earn a living in the medium term.  But if I can develop the art side as much as possible for my own satisfaction then that would be great.  But I don’t think that will be easy to do – I find a lot of the stuff I’m looking at quite challenging to be honest although the Intimate Life chapter in the aforementioned book is far more immediate and resonant for me than much of the deadpan style I’d read about earlier. 

Of course, I have no doubt the two, commercial and not so commercial stuff will cross over and may be influenced by one another, and in fact I can see that happening already.   It does feel like I’m on a very interesting path and I’m enjoying it a great deal even though there are times when I feel somewhat panicked and like I might have gone off in the wrong direction.

I'm a bit nervous about the next chapter in TOAP - Colour.  Seems all a bit difficult at first glance due to the theory so will need to think carefully about it as I go through.

For now, I need to get on with writing up two photo books, and reading all the colour information on the OCA site as well as some more of the photograph as a contemporary art.

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(1) the photograph as a contemporary art, new edition by Charlotte Cotton, Thames & Hudson 2009