Brief post-script to previous entry

Now that I have reached part 5 of this module I can look back and see what it is I have been doing on the course, since that was something I was unsure about when I began.

In many ways I feel that all the work I have done on the course is part of an ongoing narrative and the next section is simply an extension of that.  The assignments I have submitted have been part of a very personal journey -

a) one that shows me learning about photography
b) that shows me developing as a person post divorce
c) that looks at a kind of grieving process for the marriage and idea of a 'family' I lost -
i. a type of celebration, dance, but lacking in definition in A2, (denial, shock)
ii. entering into a very dark place with colour A3 (anger, depression)
iii. exploring adolescence with the frilly dress and infantile object relationships in A4 (depression, acceptance, & reconstruction)

The previous assignment feels really important as it may also have allowed me to visualise and make real some developmental 'misses' in my history - giving me a firmer internal core from which to move forward with this work

c) and if I go ahead with this family idea, then I am sure it will be some sort of personal search for a more substantial family than the one I feel I grew up with. (reconstruction, turning outwards, rebuilding, exploring).

As some will realise, I have loosely used the Kubler-Ross model of grief in my explanation here.

So, although I am just beginning the narrative section of the module, I now have a clearer idea about why I came on the course in the first place, or at least a happy happenstance aside from learning more about photography.  And that entire process has a very strong sense of narrative as far as I can tell. And being here has also given me a clear and sound structure from which to explore these things as well as develop as a photographer, or what ever it is that I'm developing into (if that makes any sense).  I don't think I would have done any of these things without that structure.  Having come from a very unstructured background I am am pleased to have it in place event though I tend to go off in directions that put some pressure on the structure provided.  I suspect that is a good thing but it's also helpful to have someone steering me back into the realms of reality when I need it.