Number of images
The main gist of the feedback was that I had far too many images. Ostensibly my reason for this was that I searched and searched for the correct figure to submit in the course document but couldn't find it - despite it plainly being there for all to see. I have to wonder why that might have been and do think I found it difficult to separate my emotions from the images, and say as much in the accompanying text. Whatever the underlying reasons may be for not editing it according to the course stipulations, a happy outcome of not doing so before submitting the assignment for feedback is that I now have an opportunity to edit with more space and time between taking the images and discovering what the narrative is really about. (What that does for any possible assessment mark is anybody's guess but I've always been here for the learning and experience rather than the marks).
Following a Skype chat with Andrew I found editing down to 12 images relatively simple and painless, whereas I don't think that would have been true a month or six weeks ago. I submitted at the end of June, having taken the images over Easter. I did a final edit last night at the beginning of August. I remember Elina Brotherus suggesting a six month hiatus between taking and editing so I'm almost there time-wise.
Having left things this long I am beginning to see the point of a break more clearly than I did before. For one, although I had set out to photograph my family on holiday in Italy in my mother's house, and to do so from within the walls of her house - signifying something to do with seeing through a daughter's eyes - I can now see that the narrative is very much about my mother and my relationship with her, which I wasn't totally convinced by before. I also think the narrative is far more apparent and resonates more powerfully now that the set of images has been condensed, although 12 does feel rather too ruthless, to be honest.
Colour vs. Black & White
Another suggestion was to consider colour. I must say right at the beginning of the process I was torn between the two and felt very sad to be letting go of colour as an option. Andrew pointed out that black and white might be too obvious a route and so colour was certainly worth considering. I have to say it felt a relief to think I might present the images in colour and have so decided that will work better. I talked about my reasons for choosing black and white in the A5 introduction and say:
"
I chose black and white because there is a type of crystalisation in the images, a freezing of time, which feels more frozen without colour. The colour edit I nearly used seems far more vibrant. I can almost hear the cicadas and the silent buzzing or humming of the empty spaces as I went about photographing them. But I don't get that in black and white. By removing the colour I feel like I have removed the life and left only shadows and impressions. I know of course this is all in my own perception and interpretation but that is how it felt. I might actually prefer the colour edit personally... "
Reading this back I can't help wondering why I thought at the time that removing the life would be better.
Text
Finally, Andrew suggested that I include text to give the images some context as they are more subtle than work I've submitted before. I did have text below each image to begin with then removed it following some peer feedback but I know if I'd been committed to the text I'd written I'd never have let go of it, regardless of what anyone said. So I must have a good think about how and what I write. I do agree that context will be very useful, although I am thinking I will write something to go at the beginning rather than captions.
The chat Andrew and I had last week was really good and helped a lot. I have to say learning this way is quite tough and isolating at times and having real live support feels incredibly useful. I certainly felt a bit lost with this assignment at times, I suppose because I attempt to venture into something pretty difficult for me. I know the blurry images of A2 or the light in A4 is something solid for anyone looking to grab hold of - and that people will either like it or not depending on taste. But the thing to grab hold of in A5 may be less obvious but perhaps feels more dangerous, for me at any rate. Andrew and I also chatted about different ways of presenting the work for assessment (the thought of which still gives me horrors, I must admit). And I will get on with that over the next couple of weeks.
Feedback here:
Overall Comments
As everything
from The Waltons to The Kardashians demonstrates, popular culture has
represented ‘the family’ in diverse and contradictory ways, yet it is
consistently thought of as being at the centre of normative social life. What
you’ve submitted here offers a characteristically interesting, well researched
and personal take on the idea of ‘the family’, and your ability to spot and use
domestic details in a poignant and tender way is really striking.
Stylistically, the influence of Jim Mortram is clearly evident, and provides
the viewer- or certainly this viewer- with a bittersweet frame of reference and
entry point into the set. Your blog entries around this project give an extremely clear indication of the extent
to which you’ve thought about the work, and while it’s not without its flaws,
this is an assignment that once again shows you to be a thoughtful, observant,
determined and highly promising artist-photographer whose work is personal and
emotive.
This
assignment features a lot of work. I
cover this in my specific feedback, but a more ruthless cut would have been
welcome! It’s hard to escape the feeling that we’re not looking at as tightly a
focused series as we might have been, and a couple of photographs repeat the
point of others without necessarily adding to the meaning of the work overall.
But, this aside, you’ve produced a(nother) ambitious and engaging piece of
work; one that bodes extremely well for your continued studies (and beyond).
Feedback on assignment
Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of
Outcome, Demonstration of Creativity
In a
recent chat you noted how each of your previous assignments had put you at
their centre, and that for your final piece of work on TAoP you were keen to take a different approach. You’ve definitely
done this, once again demonstrating the breadth of ideas that you’re having and
your stylistic versatility and willingness to always take chances and follow
your creative impulses. At the same time, I think this work absolutely does still have you at its centre, albeit
in a more tangential way. Your voice is apparent throughout the set, and this
submission acts as a subtle complement to the assignments that were much more
directly about you. Equally, in spite of the shift in style, what you’ve
submitted here is still recongnisably ‘your’ work. The portraits here show a
growing range of technical skills and an awareness of how subtle inflections in
a subject can communicate an entirely different set of meanings- good.
While
the series, at least in the most reductive sense, is ‘about people’, the
photographs where people are (in a literal sense) absent not only convey a very
poignant atmosphere, but also help the viewer to fill in those all-important ‘gaps’
with their own readings. This said, I think this is one of the areas that would
possibly benefit from a little refining/ editing: you’re cramming a lot in
here, and I sometimes got the feeling that a smaller set would have made for a
slightly greater impact. Indeed, sticking to the letter of the assignment’s
law, in submitting 33 photographs you’ve gone way over what’s outlined in the guidance notes:
create
between 6 and 12 images- you can
choose.
33 is
almost treble the recommended upper limit, so this is definitely something you’ll
need to look at before submitting for assessment. What you’re trying to do/
communicate with the work is pretty clear, but it’s important to go through the
series again and think about how you could hone it down to its core essence without
losing any of its qualities/ meanings. As things stand, I’d be extremely
surprised if the assessors didn’t pick up on the excessive number of images
you’ve included and use it as a reason to question your judgment. It’s one
thing to produce extremely interesting and promising work- which you’ve
consistently done throughout TAoP-
but this does need to be allied to a strong sense of discernment. The work and
ideas are certainly ‘in there’, but with a more focused edit these would be
much more clearly evident.
A
practical example of how you could potentially scale everything down a touch: as
the series heads towards its conclusion and the emphasis shifts more towards
your mother, I did get the feeling that you could have culled a few images and
been a little more direct. Photos number 29, 30, 32, and 33 of your mother are
all interesting in their own right, but in terms of what they contribute to the
overall ‘narrative’ I did wonder whether there was a little uncertainty on your
part as to which ones to include/ exclude. #32 is most striking for me: you’ve
captured something incredibly vulnerable and poignant in your mother. #33 is
very much in contrast with this, and there’s something quite severe and
defensive (and also very striking). While these two are very to the point and
have a clear sense of purpose, #29 and #30 feel less essential: #29 is fairly interesting in its own right but,
for me, doesn’t add a great deal more to what you’ve already said. #30, while
showing your mother in a slightly different light, feels a little more
throwaway and less vital. Whether you remove them from the series ahead of
submission ahead of assessment is entirely up to you of course, and something
I’m happy to discuss further… but I do think that a more ruthless approach to
your final edit is what’s needed here. Perhaps because this is the final
assignment on the unit- and because it’s featured such obviously personal work-
it’s been harder to be restrained than might usually be the case. This is
totally understandable, but do keep in mind that the process of creating
meaning is not just something that happens when you shoot an image, but when
you sequence a series of photos. In some ways, this can be the toughest part,
but it’s really important to develop your ability to refine a project down to
its core elements: less… is… more…
Having
said all this, you’ve still produced a series that is touching and personal and
says quite a few things about your family and your relationship with them.
You’ve communicated an impressive range of emotions, from everyday joy to
something altogether more ambivalent, and as the sequence shifts away from a
focus on your children to your mother, we seem to reach the very poignant
essence and emotional heart of the work. It’s really likeable stuff, and with
some further thought could be even more affecting.
Just a
couple of quick bulletpoints/ questions to end on:
- Are
you sure that colour doesn’t work? I’ve only seen the people-less photographs
in colour, but I think it would at least be worth giving some further thought
to using them. I get why you’ve gone with b/w, but it does seem like it frames
the work in a particular way- I won’t say ‘obvious’, but it does seem like a
fairly standard device to have employed. Maybe when you’ve brought the number
of images in the sequence down to something closer to the recommended limit,
it’ll be easier to ‘see’ the project working in colour- the meanings you’re reaching
for could even cause it to resonate in ways that you hadn’t anticipated.
- I
appreciate that you’ve not wanted to include much in the way of text, but the
assignment guidelines note that ‘…you are about to illustrate a story for a
magazine. You have a cover to illustrate, and several pages inside […]. Even
though there may be no text, you should write captions (of any length) to
explain and link each picture’. In terms of what you’re doing, I can see how
this could be problematic- but a short overview of the work that sums up your
rationale for the work would certainly be useful. Let’s catch up on Skype and
discuss this further.
Learning Logs or
Blogs/Critical essays
Context
As
usual, your accompanying texts are highly engaging, dedicated, and clear
indicators of how much you’re launching yourself into your photography and
studies. Could you perhaps manage everything just a touch more efficiently
though? There’s a lot on your blog- certainly not to any unmanageable degree,
but would it be worth condensing a few of the sections?
Suggested reading/viewing
Context
This is another area where you’ve pushed on with real determination, and
you’re always eager to look beyond the obvious in search of useful material-
excellent stuff.
If you’re not familiar with them anyway, you might want to have a look
at the following films, all of which offer reflections on the idea of ‘family’:
Buffalo 66 (Vincent
Gallo)
Les Quatre Cents
Coups (Francois Truffaut)
Paris, Texas (Wim
Wenders)
(You might also find something useful in Julian Roman Polser’s The Wall)
Pointers
for the next assignment steps
Your work on this unit has
been consistently engaging, thought-provoking, personal, eye-catching, daring,
and ambitious, and you’ve made the most of the opportunities that it has presented.
This in itself is extremely commendable, as at this comparatively early stage
it would have been entirely understandable if you’d taken a safer and more
conservative approach to your work. I’m very glad that you didn’t: it’s been a pleasure
to see how you’ve developed over the course of TAoP, and even from a very early stage it was clear that you were
always striving to produce evocative and meaningful work. I don’t doubt that
this will continue, so please do continue to challenge yourself and take the
more difficult (but ultimately more rewarding) paths. The more you do, the more
you’ll improve on both a technical and creative level and be better placed to
successfully visualise your ideas. Keep pushing!!!!!
